Walk on the second space in dream

08:57, 12/08,2009

Walk on the second space in dream
The sleep looks like a long travel, very tired out while waking up. Have looked around, in the room secretly, there is a kind of moist and wet taste, just understand in the heart, come Changsha already originally, blue and green to spend with me come oning, rent this of two living rooms and one sitting room house. Feel and live elongated quickly, seem to rise to in midair again, the already existing life and agony have already been got rid of and taken off, there is a kind of relaxation in the heart. The feeling such while going to Shanghai each time, unexpectedly really come to Changsha now, feel and get back to the same feeling of Shanghai, the same strange but the same cordiality.
Place oneself in the midst of the strange city, that brought strangely is to face the loneliness that the strange sense brings at the same time in the face of the passion of the new life, it is dreary even in the bottom of heart. The operation rapidly extremely in the heart, like the radar begins to scan all familiar things that can be found in this city   Begin, appear slowly, like be blown open by the wind by the road surface that the dust cover with, some forms have emerged. Joe village, the lane of Joe village, the main road on May Day, the pedestrian street, the sub street of slope, Xiang River bridge   Cousin with the blue and green flower, a university student studying in Changsha, - -someone surfaces at the beginning. Heart feel one silk gratified, in the the corner of world, have complete loneliness can people's whole wrapping up perhaps. Then, cousin of her will come, cook, wipe out together with classmate perhaps on weekend, they and we will all be through driving away loneliness outside each other.
But there is no this idea of complete loneliness to disintegrate soon, degrading slowly of number of people like of gypsum, turn into powder, the facial features are getting fuzzy too. Find that did not seem just now in Changsha it was only a dream oneself.
A lonely to begin like sea water one well up, come up, silent, I being tight in parcel, do not even have strength that a silk struggled.
Open eyes, it was really in the dream just now. Thinking begins to look like a piece of Pupa bombycis struggling, is towing the too fat and clumsy to move Liang Liang's rude rude crawling out from the callus shell of body, the green body is invented.
Look up and down again. This is the small bedroom, I am lying in bed, is the large room next door, the study where I wrote. Quite right, Shandong Peninsula, a small city, an unclean small city, I have injured others, others have injured I, a small city that will never suffer a loss even more.
Stretch out one's hand to draw the light, once of, the light is not bright. Really wonder how to lose electrical power, having pulled, or there is no electricity. Do not remember, the oblique and oblique one leans against the bedside, it is the same that the head is soaked in the fog sea of mountain of cloud, not very clear, some intelligence is low and muddleheaded. But this feeling is very far from good, make me a bit afraid, and the feeling feared has come up soon.
Head and ears become loud, the jolt one sits on very difficult plane flying in picture terribly, like rolling up in the corner of first truck even. The sound of coming from the head is very disorderly, there is sound of water of ticktack, the sound of the noisy country fair, the sound of the straining engine that is operating, still breathes out and breathes out the wind that blew over, but does not leave away, enclose me to rotate, has been rounding me all the time, has become a swirl finally, swallow into me.
The true fear had already been attacked over, had ever had horrible nightmares in the past, but I can't distinguish it is still in the dream now. I lie in the house rented, the small bedroom, the study, Yes, there is no fault. Can watch too very clear in the room, light just secretly, lose electrical power after drawing the light, I am surrounded by a scene of sounds in a mess, one group is not a very true sound, Yes, untrue, this sound seems not to be this that kind of feeling of the world.

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What has suffocated the beauty of the life

08:38, 12/08,2009

What has suffocated the beauty of the life
Grow like Xia Hua's brilliance, it is quiet and beautiful that leaf like autumn dies.
The language of poesy, describe the life colorfully, gorgeously, even all seem so leisurely, quiet, even the wonderful,it can make the calm in people in the face of,fall asleep general like persons who have a liking for sleep not sinking.
If the life is really so beautiful, that really lets the person Xin admire endlessly, everybody can make the summary with a picture scroll rich in variety when being on one's deathbed. But in reality, the life is full of frustration and setback, repents, annoyed, frustrated and pestering painfully like the poisonous snake sometimes, engulfing the life and letting the flowers of the life made fadely, incompletely, even withered.
People often say, the life comes to this world, should burst forth its beauty and show it is excellent, because any pieces of life is in this world been only,firmly believe I. The life should grow up freely like flower, beautiful and open. Can turn round, think can flower leave soil, keep out of the sun while being beautiful? Though flowers are also very open on the overhanging cliff, it is exactly that the quintessence of absorbing the world has a foundation that bursts forth, let alone each of flower fertilizing the soil in the rich soil is energetic, each has exactly absorbed the reason of abundant nutrition bright-coloredly. Who can see and burst forth the flowers beautiful in the complete dark hole in the ground, can open the very large and energetic spirit beautiful in the serious desert which is short of water. If life spend, want, burst forth beautiful, lack soil to nourish him also, sunshine to illuminate him. As to the hungry one, it is his greatest hope in the heart to eat a full meal forever; As to the cold one, a cotton-padded jacket, a pile of charcoal fire are its paradise in the heart. The value of any lives, the meaning of life, ideal and aspiration I'm afraid nine clouds thrown completely.
In animal's world, there is such a typical example: The male deer in the deer group is in order to fight for the laurel, launch desperate fighting similarly with a weapon, the deerhorns of many forks are answered back to together, pester together, tear it bloodily. Finally, have finished fighting in most primitive, cruelest, most bloody way. But when deer's king wants coronation, that was hung at the deerhorn was several scattered here and there wormwoods unexpectedly, deer's king's place out of the common, was those several wormwoods appearing more at the deerhorn unexpectedly. Do I think, is our life as funny as this deer group too? Run after fame to fight for, take for the profit, in the end, the appellations of those several pieces of nihility that are just published more in front of the name, those several wormwoods hung up the deerhorn, do not really have any aesthetic feeling, but pay energies, sweat, scheming fight for, even other and more and more, and the life was twisted in fighting for day by day unexpectedly, withered day by day.
Having once seen such a fable material, it was the dialogue between small fish and mother that said:
The small fish ask the big fish dish: "Mum, my friend tells me, the thing on the bait is the most beautiful, have some dangers. How could taste this kind of delicious food and guarantee safely? "
" my child, " The big fish say, " the two can not coexist, never go to eat it by safest method. "
"But they say, that is the cheapest, because it does not demand any cost. " The small fish say.
" this is totally wrong, " Big fish say " a cheap one most expensive probably most, because it attempt cost that others pay whole life. Do you know, only wrapped up in one the fishhook it. "

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